When Things Shatter, Love Still Remains
by AlabamaBound
Summary: Have you ever wondered why Nick was so upset at Catherine in Redrum? Sometimes the one we love the most, can be the one that hurts us the most. Leaving us battered and bruised. If not physically, then emotionally. Please review. Character are not mine!
1. Letting Go?

_**When Things Shatter, Love Still Remains**_

Special thanks to Lynn. Thanks for being a great friend. Also thanks for helping me with the title!!

Have you ever wondered why Nick was so upset at Catherine in Redrum? Sometimes the one we love the most, can be the one that hurts us the most. Leaving us battered and bruised. If not physically, then emotionally.

"Nick, let it go man."

Warrick's parting words still rang in his ears. He still remembers the pain that he felt when he realized what Catherine had done. When she ordered him, as his Supervisor, to _backoff _he felt a kind of pain that he'd never felt before. A pain that he never thought it was possible to feel.

When they were in the room with Keppler, Sara, Greg and Warrick, Nick hadn't been able to look her in the eye. He felt a rage unknown to him. What he'd said about trusting her with their lives, was completely true. Then, after the District Attorney refused to press charges against Simon, she was suddenly deciding that the rest of the team was worth trusting again. Nick had wanted to walk out of the room and tell her to do it herself, but he didn't. He was still not sure why. Maybe it was the pleading tone in her voice, or the way she looked utterly defeated, but he agreed to help. It was his job afterall.

Which brought him to the place he was now. Sitting in his living room, drinking his fifth bottle of Corona. The shattered remains of the others four bottles littered the floor. It felt good to break something for a change. He was one of the people that was always putting things back together for others. Always the one to provide the answers to the puzzles that others created. Sometimes he was tired of playing the good guy all the time. What had it gotten him so far? Not much. A townhouse full of stuff and a great paying job. Not much for a thirty-something year old man. When he was younger, he always thought that by this time he would have a wife and a couple kids. "_Yeah right. I have no life outside of work. What kind of relationship would survive that?"_

With that he finished off the rest of that bottle of beer and in one quick motion he threw it against the wall. He sat there listening to the sound of the glass hitting the wall and tinkling down onto the hardwood floor. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It was going to be a bitch cleaning that up tomorrow. That caused him to break out into a laughing fit.

The thing that pissed him off the most was that he didn't have a reason to feel this way. Sure, he and Catherine were co-workers, but their relationship outside of work was what bothered him most. They'd been having an on again, off again affair. Ever since Keppler had come onto the scene, their romantic relationship had definitely been off again. That's one reason he'd hated Keppler. The man oozed masculine appeal and he sensed that it was drawing Catherine into his spell. Yeah, that's definitely what pissed him off the most. Catherine was his. Okay, so she wasn't really his, but they'd definitely had something special. He'd felt it and she'd felt it. Hell, he'd even spent several nights at her house.

Nick walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He pulled out the last beer of the six pack. He took the carton and flung it across the room. It didn't provide him with the same satisfaction as the glass breaking. He knew that if he kept drinking tonight, he was definitely going to regret it tomorrow. Somehow that didn't really matter though. He wanted to drink away the pain.

He walked over to the entertainment system and flicked on the radio to his favorite country station. "Are you ever gonna love me" by Chris Cagle is playing. It just makes Nick sadder to listen to it, but he can't turn it off and flops on the couch and listens to the words of the song..

_**Tell me what else can I do  
Tell me what else can I say  
The closer that I get to you  
The further you push me away**_

_**Til I don't know where to go  
And I don't know why I stay  
Do you even care?  
Or am I some little game you play?  
**_

_**Are you ever gonna need me baby  
Like I need you  
Are you ever gonna want me baby  
The way I want you too  
**_

_**I know that you love me  
Oh baby down deep inside i know that you do  
But are you ever gonna love me  
The way that i love you  
**_

_**I never know how you feel  
Cause baby i can't read your mind  
Do i just keep waiting, or am i just wasting time  
**_

_**Are you ever gonna need me baby  
Like I need you  
Are you ever gonna want me baby  
The way I want you to  
I know that you love me  
Oh baby down deep i know that you do  
But are you ever gonna love me baby  
Are you ever gonna love me baby  
The way I love you**_

Nick tried to push himself up from the couch, but was too drunk to accomplish that feat. He tried a few more times, but couldn't manage it. So, he let his eyes drift around the room. His eyes rested on a picture of him and Catherine. One that was taken a few years back. He looked at it for what seemed like and eternity. Finally he started talking to the picture. If Warrick could have seen him, he would have thought he was crazy. Part of him was starting to think that he was a little bit crazy. He'd never let another woman get to him this way before, but Catherine wasn't any other woman, she was the one he was crazy about. If he was honest with himself, he'd been crazy about her for years.

"Hey Catherine. Glad to see that you can smile. I don't much feel like smiling right now. I can't believe after everything we've been through that you could do something like this to the team. To me."

Nick took a swallow of the beer and started again, "And another thing, what is it with this fascination that you seem to have with Keppler? You've never gotten that close to someone that you've just met before! I can't understand it. Do you love him Catherine? Is that it? What is it that he's got that I don't? Tell me Cath. I need to know. It's driving me crazy seeing you act like this over someone that you've just met. Someone that could potentially steal you away from me. I wish I had what he has..."

Another swig of beer and that one is gone. Another bottle soars through the air and hits the wall. More sounds of glass falling over the floor and Nick closes his eyes. He doesn't have the strength to get up off the couch for another beer. So he simply allows his eyes to close. However, we see a tear falling down his face.

Meanwhile, Catherine is outside of Nick's townhouse. She has her hand raised to knock. Suddenly she stops and decides to use the spare key that she knows he keeps under the mat. She lets herself in and the first thing she sees is the broken glass on the floor. She gets a worried look on her face. Then she walks into the living room. She sees Nick passed out on his couch. She shakes her head and says softly, "Nicky what have you done to yourself?"

Thru the drunked fog Nick can hear her. He tries to respond, but the words come out all jumbled and sound like, "Cath doing what here."

Catherine shakes her head and walks over to the hall closet. She takes out a blanket and pillow and put the pillow underneath his head and covers him with the blanket. Then she walks over to the broom closet and cleans up the mess on the floor. Once that task is accomplished, she sits at the breakfast bar and watches Nick sleeping. He looks so peaceful. She then decides to spend that night. So she goes into Nick's bedroom. She sees one of her nighties and goes into the bathroom and undresses. In the meantime, Nick wakes up and walks into his bedroom. He flops into the bed. Catherine comes out of the bedroom and laughs. She climbs into bed with him. He puts his arm around her and says softly, "Love you."

Catherine smiles and tells him, "Love you to Nicky. Now go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

Nick, who is clearly drunk and slurring his words says, "Don't wanna talk 'bout it in the mornin. Wanna talk 'bout it now."

Catherine knows that there is no arguing with Nick. So almost robotically she says, "Okay Nick. What do you want to talk about?"

"Me. You. Keppler."

She raises and eyebrow at the last name. She can't quite imagine where this conversation is going so she asks, "What does Mike have to do with this?"

Nick starts to sit up, but can't quite manage the task. So he looks over at her and asks, "So now your on a first name basis with him? When did that happen Cath?"

"Nick, I think we should talk about this tomorrow. Once you're sober and thinking clearly. You..."

Nick says loudly and in an obnoxious tone, "So, have you slept with him yet Catherine?"

"That is none of your business Nick. What the hell has gotten into you tonight?"

"Forget it Catherine. That's all the answer I need. I'd like it if you'd leave now!"

Catherine just gives him a look. She finally tells him, "I'm not going anywhere Nicky."

"Don't patronize me Catherine. I don't like it."

"Well, I don't like you acting like an asshole Nick! I'll repeat again, What the hell is wrong with you tonight Nick?"

"Where should I start Cath? Should I start with the fact that you didn't trust your team with something as important as this whole reverse forensics thing? Or should I start with the fact that every time you see Keppler your eyes light up. Like he is one helluva good roll in the hay. Is he better than me Cath? Does he make you scream his name like I do?"

Catherine shakes her head. It's then that we see the tears there. She looks at Nick and finally says, "I've never slept with him Nicky. There.."

"Please Catherine, do I look stupid? You used to look at me like that. Now, the only time you look at me is with something that looks like contempt! You couldn't even look me in the eye in the briefing room."

Catherine sighs and finally tells him, "You want to know why Nick? I couldn't look you in the eye because I knew what I would see. I'd see the hurt and disappointment in your eyes. You couldn't even look at me either."

"Cause it hurt too much. I love you Catherine and you couldn't trust me with this. Then you played with us like we were pawns in some damn board game orchestrated by you and Keppler. Do you know how that feels Cath?"

Catherine shakes her head. Finally she manages to squeak out, "I never wanted to keep you in the dark Nicky, but I didn't have any choice. The sheriff..."

"Didn't trust us. I think there was more to it than that Catherine. I think it was Keppler that wanted it kept secret and your blind love for him was all it took for you to turn on the rest of us."

Catherine put her hand on his chest and tried to stop the words coming out of his mouth. She hated hearing him full of such pain. Partially because some of what he said was true. She'd never admit it to Nick, but since they'd been romantically involved she'd been afraid. Afraid that he'd get tired of someone that was so much older than he was. Ten years might not seem like that big of a difference to some people, but it felt like an eternity to her. She knew that Nick wanted children and she wasn't sure if she would be able to have more children. She never wanted to deny Nick the chance of a family of his own.

She leaned over and did the only thing she could think of to silence him. She kissed him deep on the lips. He stopped talking briefly and kissed her back. She broke off the kiss and smiled down at him. He leaned his head back on the pillow. She smiled at him and stood up and took off her nightie and climbed back into bed with him. She slid close to him. She started to say something, but was stopped by the sound of Nick snoring softly. She smiled and kissed him on the head and whispered softly, "We'll talk more about this in the morning."

Catherine stands up and starts to get dressed, but decides that it would be fun to tease Nick in the morning. Serves him write for getting drunk. She lays down beside him and falls asleep...


	2. Chapter 2

Early the next morning Nick awoke. The first thing he realized was that he had a killer headache. The next thing he was aware of was the fact that he was not alone in his bed. Somewhere in the deep recess of his mind he remembered bits and pieces of the conversation that he'd had with Catherine. Now, in the light of day, it was embarassing to him. He couldn't believe that he'd actually said those things to her.

He looked over and saw Catherine laying in his bed. That only mildly surprised him. Then he realized that she was completely naked. He leaned over and kissed her neck softly. She moaned softly. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or not, so he kept nibbling. Leaving her neck he moved to nibble on her earlobe. This brought out a much deeper and louder moan. It was then that he realized that she wasn't asleep. He laughed as she rolled over. Allowing the sheets to fall from her body, she smiled at the gasp that escaped Nick's mouth.

"See something you like Nicky?"

All Nick could do is smile and nod as he buried his face in her hair. Just the smell of her was enough to set him on fire.

She laughed as Nick pushed her onto the bed and held her arms down. Completely vunerable and at his mercy, she laughed and said, "Your still fully dressed Nicky! Loose the clothes."

In spite of her reservations about their age, she still loved their time together. Although the age difference was something that she wanted to talk to him about. It bothered her more that it probably should, but still she wanted to be completely honest with him. She'd allow herself one more blissful time with Nick before possibly shattering both of their lives forever.

Nick is fully undressed and climbs back into bed. She smiles as she allows herself to be pinned underneath him. He leans in close and says, "I'm sorry. I was an ass last night. I..."

Catherine put her pointer finger to his lips and whispers, "Not now. Just make love to me Nick..."

That's all the encouragement that Nick needs. He leans in closer and kisses her softly. She manages to free her hands and wraps them around his neck. Pulling him deeper into the kiss. It's a desperate kiss. One full of every emotion that Catherine is feeling. Nick senses something is wrong, but doesn't want to ruin the moment so he simply kisses her back. After a few moments he breaks off the kiss and looks into her eyes. Even though she has a smile on her face, her eyes have a look of unbearable sadness. Wanting to take some of that sadness away, he plants small kisses on her chest, just above her breasts.

She moans and leans her body into the kiss. Wanting more she pushes his head so that he moves further south. He allows his lips to capture her left nipple. He sucks it into his mouth. She moans loudly and cries out, "Oh Nicky!!"

He knew that she was totally under his spell at that point. Her hands were winding thru his hair. As his tongue swirled around and around her nipple, her moans got louder and she was breathing faster. She swore she was on the verge of a mind shattering orgasm and he hadn't even began making love to her yet. The simple act of him capturing her nipple in his mouth was nearly sending her over the edge. God, how she loved him! When she was in his arms like this, everything felt so incredibly right. Craving more, she pushed his head yet again. Urging him without words, to continue this incredible journey he was taking her on.

Nick felt her push his head lower. He obeyed and kissed her stomach softly. Letting his tongue swirl inside her belly button. She arched her back once again. She cried out at this point and said, "Oh Nicky!!"

Nick knew that he was driving her to the edge. He longed to push her closer to the edge. He knew just how far he could bring her before she would totally loose control. Finally reaching the soft mound just below her belly. He allowed his hand to rest briefly there. She smiled down at him and wordlessly urged him on. He spread her legs apart. All the while he was mindful of everything going on around him. It was as if every sense in his body was hypersenstive. Every smell was intoxicating to him. Catherine had a smell that even if he were blind he could tell her from any other woman in the room.

He smiled and blew a soft breath onto her skin. This caused her to shudder ever so slightly. Wanting to urge him to go faster she managed to say, "More Nicky! Please..."

Nicky smiled as he wordlessly looked at her. He parted her lips ever so slowly and licked her clit ever so gently. She moaned louder than he ever heard before. Picking up the pace, he found a gentle rhythm and continued for several seconds. Then without warning, he inserted two fingers deep inside her.

Throwing her head back she moaned again. Knowing that she was close to cumming. She urged him on, "Oh Nicky! Yes!"

He smiled as his tongue seemed to glide over her clit. Finally he captured it between his lips and sucked softly. This is what finally set off her climax. It was explosive and had her calling his name out loudly. He was glad that no one lived with him, because the sound of her voice would have had them running into his room. He body shook almost violently for sometime. Finally she settled down and whispered softly, "God Nicky. That was incredible. Thank you."

Nicky smiled as he crawled up to kiss her. She could still taste herself on his lips. This caused her to kiss him deeper. He smiled as she pulled away from him and whispered, "My turn to please you Nicky."

Nick smiled as she kissed her way down his stomach. Not stopping for anything, she finally reached what she considered the ultimate prize. She took him into her mouth. Listening to his sharp intake of breath, she knew that he was just as horny as she was. God only knew how she was able to resist making love to him at work. Sometimes it was all she thought of.

Her tongue swirled around the head of his cock. She smiled as she heard him moan softly. Never one to loose control, Nick's hands gripped the sheets on the bed. Sucking him deeper, she smiles and takes him deeper into her mouth. Nick can't believe that she is doing this. Never in all his life had a woman done this to him. Most were content with him pleasing them and then having sex with him. Catherine was making sure he was just as satisfied as she was.

Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, he exploded in her mouth. Looking down he watched as she smiled up at him and swallowed his juices. She then climbed back up his body and kissed him softly. The taste of his cum still fresh on her lips.

They held each other as they fell into a contented state of relaxation...


	3. Chapter 3

A few short hours later, Catherine and Nick awoke. Catherine let her hand glide over Nick's chest. She smiled as he shivered slightly. She loved the way Nicky made her feel young again. She threw back to covers and grabbed ahold of Nicky's cock. She smiled as he sucked in a breath quickly. After a few not so gentle strokes, he was hard again. She smiled as she rolled over onto the bed and brought him on top of her. Their eyes locked as Nick entered her. Nick leaned down and kissed her. She pulled out of the kiss and whispered, "Make love to me Nicky."

Happy to oblige, Nick made love to her slowly. Much to slowly for Catherine's growing lust. She whispered huskily, "Faster Nicky..."

Nick smiled as he increased the pace of his lovemaking. Soon they were both on the edge of release. At exactly the same time, they came. Their moans of pleasure filled the room. Catherine looked up at Nick and whispered, "I love you Nicky. I hope you always remember that."

Nick gave her a look at the cryptic statement and asked, "Why do you say that?"

She gave him a sad look. She decided that she needed to get her feelings out in the open. She stood up and motioned for Nick to follow. She didn't want any bad memories in this room. His bedroom was a place of pleasure for the both of them.

Nick sat on the couch and she laid her head in his lap. She knew what this did to Nick. Her face being so close to his cock always drove him crazy. He head was facing away from the back of the couch as she spoke, "We have to talk about us Nicky."

Nick gave her a look and said slowly, "Ok. What do you want to talk about?"

Catherine let out a sigh. Her voice was thick with all kinds of emotion, "Well, I worry about us being together."

"If your afraid that someone is going to find out about us Cath, I won't and haven't said anything I..."

Catherine holds up her hand to silence him. We see a tear sliding down her cheek. Finally she manages to say, "It's not that Nicky. Neither one of us is getting any younger Nick. Your still young enough that you could find someone to give you the things that every man wants. I'm not sure I'm that person."

Nick looked down at her for many seconds. Finally he manages to say, "What if I don't want someone else? I happen to love you Cath. Nothing is more important than that."

Catherine gives him a look and murmurs, "I know that you want children Nick and I'm not sure if I could give you that. I..."

"If that was the only thing I was worried about Cath, then I am a very shallow man. I love you Catherine Willows. Your beautiful to me. Inside and out. Nothing will ever change that. If we want more children who says that we can't adopt? You and I both know there are plenty of kids in the system that need loving parents."

Catherine smiles up at him with eyes full of tears. Finally she whispers, "I love you Nick."

Nick smiles and whispers back, "I love you too Cath."

This conversation led to more kissing and another round of fervent lovemaking on the couch. As Catherine climbed on top of him Nick laughed and asked, "Are you sure you not younger than me? Your gonna wear me out woman!"

Catherine laughed as she drew Nick deep inside her. Nick threw his head back as Catherine drew him in even deeper. She loved watching his face contort as she tightened and released the hold she had on his cock. Loving how she could control the pace of their lovemaking simply by how fast or slow she moved on him. Finally unable to take it any longer, Nick flipped her over on the couch and started pounding her hard and fast. Catherine's eyes rolled back in her head and moaned as she came again. Nick soon followed and collapsed on top of her.

Awaking hours later they realzed that they were starving so they decided to go to the deli that they frequented. They got dressed and hurried out to Nick's Denali. A short while later they arrived at the restaurant.

They slide into their favorite booth and ordered without taking a look at the menu. They were content with making small talk. Nothing too intense was discussed. Catherine laughed about something that Nick said. Suddenly the look on Nick's face changed. Gone was the ease that he was feeling. It was replaced with an unreadable mask. This caused Catherine to turn and look. She spotted Keppler approaching the table.

"Hi Mike. Care to join us?" She slid over to make room for him. He sat next to her and said, "Hi Catherine. Nick."

Suddenly Nick's world closed around him. All the fears and insecurities returned. He reached for hi billfold and threw a few bills onto the table. He looked at Catherine and told her, "I've got some things to take care of around the house. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Bye Keppler."

Catherine's eyebrows raised at his sudden change in attitude. Then she remembered what he'd said the night before. She could have kicked herself afterwards. Getting up now would appear strange to Keppler, but not going would hurt Nick. Finally she decided that she needed to go after Nick. She excused herself and rushed out of the restaurant. She saw Nick's truck pulling out of the parking lot. "Damn! This really turned out great."

She realized that she had two options at this point. One was walking to Nick's house. That didn't hold a lot of appeal for her. The second one was to make up an excuse and get Keppler to take her to Nick's. Her car was still at Nick's, but thankfully she had parked a few doors down. So, she decided to take her chance and ask Keppler to take her there.

Swallowing hard, she walked over to Keppler and said, "I need to ask a favor. Can you take me over to Nick's. Normally, I wouldn't ask but..."

Keppler put up his hand and told her, "Think nothing of it. It's on my way back to headquarters."

The drive there was stilted. No conversation took place. The minute the car stopped, Catherine was out and up to the door. She didn't stop to knock, simply walked inside and searched for Nick. She finally found him in the bedroom. He was laying on his bed. Eyes open and staring up at the ceiling.

Catherine kneeled beside the bed and whispered softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't think that inviting him to have breakfast with us would upset you."

Nick shakes his head and manages to croak out, "It wasn't just the breakfast."

"Then what happened?"

"When you slid over I..."

Catherine stood up and looked at him. She padded out of the bedroom and sat on the couch. She was upset that something as simple as her making way for the new guy. She simply sat on the couch and stared out the window. Finally she felt Nick sit down beside her. He sighed heavily and said, "I'm sorry. I overreacted."

Catherine held up her hand to silence him. Finally she said, "If this is how your going to act everytime I talk to someone that you don't like then I think it would be a good idea if we stop seeing each other."

"Catherine I..."

Holding up her hand again she says, "I won't worry about everytime I talk to Mike. I can't take this Nick. There is nothing going on between Mike and me. Why can't you believe that?"

Nick finally says, "I do Cath, but I see the way he looks at you. He feels something for you Cath."

Catherine shook her head and got up from the couch. She looked down at him. He looked like a small child. Lost and sad. Finally she says, "I have to go now Nick. I'll see myself out."

She grabs her purse and walks over to the door and says softly, "I love you Nick. Just remember that Nicky."

She walks over to the door and opens it and walks out into the bright sunshine.

Nick sighs and knows that he can't let her leave like this. He throws the door open and chases after her. He barely catches up to her. She is opening the door and getting ready to get in. She sees him and says, "I don't want to fight about this out here Nicky."

He holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. He smiles brightly and says, "I come in peace. I just wanted to say something."

She is still on the defensive and asks harshly, "I'm sorry. I was a jealous fool. Forgive me?"

Catherine's smile lights up her face. She walks towards him and whispers, "Truthfully? I wasn't mad at you to begin with. I just wanted you to think I was."

She laughs as he rolls his eyes and asks, "Come back inside with me. Please?"

She laughs and allows him to take her hand and lead her back inside. Nick closes the door behind him. Nick and Catherine sit on the couch together. Catherine rests her head on his chest. After a few minutes, Catherine starts giggling uncontrolably. Nick looks down at her and says, "What is so funny?"

Catherine finally manages to control her laughter and says, "I can't believe you think that I could feel anything for Mike! I mean, he's so old!"

Nick rolls his eyes again and pushes her playfully. She pulls his head down and kisses him deeply. She breaks off the kiss and starts laughing again. The sound of her laughter is all that can be heard as the screen goes dark...


	4. Chapter 4

Catherine left Nick's house late that night. She had to get ready for work and needed to get some clean clothes. She and Nick had already taken a shower together. She'd never felt cleaner in her life.

She and Nick arrived at that station at almost the same time. She simply smiled at him as he opened the door for her. He smiled back as he watched her walk in front of him. He realized that she was wiggling her ass a little more than usual, but it only served to turn him on more. She smiled as she heard Nick let out a huge sigh. He loved to feel her ass in his hands, but since they were at work, he was powerless to do anything but watch.

He whispered huskily in her left ear, "Your a tease."

"Uh huh and you know you love it."

Nick was stopped from saying anything else by the arrival of Warrick. They smiled at him and soon shift started.

A short while later, all of their lives would be turned upside down. Some for the better and some for the worse.

This next scene is right before the end of Law of Gravity. Where Catherine goes to find Keppler at the motel...

Catherine was worried about Keppler. She knew that he was keeping some secrets from his past. As much as she tried to get him to open up about those secrets, he was determined to keep them secret. So, she got a lead that he was at a motel and drove there to find him.

She heard shots as she walked up the steps to the hotel. Running she threw open the door and was shocked to see the suspect in the murder ot the dead hooker pointing a gun at her. More shocking was seeing Keppler lying on the floor of the hotel room bleeding. She had never been more afraid in her life. Before she could react, Kepple fired several shots. Killing the suspect.

Catherine ran beside the paramedics. Never more afraid for anyone in her life. She felt the hot tears running down her face, but she didn't care. She knew that she had to be here for Keppler. When they pronounced him dead, she felt like her world had caved in around her. They'd never lost a member of the team before.

She went home that night feeling more depressed than she'd been in a long time. She didn't even

take the time to undress. She simply crawled underneath the covers and closed her eyes, but she couldn't. Every time she closed them, scenes from the motel flashed before her eyes. Making her more and more depressed as the night went on.

Sometime during the night she must have fell asleep. She felt someone climbing into bed beside her. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her body and murmured, "Mike..."

Nick had meant to surpise her. Instead he was the one being surprised. She was holding him, but calling out another man's name. He froze instantly. He wanted to comfort her, but now he couldn't wait to get out of the bedroom. He looked over at her and said, "No Cath. It's not Mike. It's Nick. I guess I know now who you think about at night."

In an instant Catherine was awake. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and watched Nick leaving the room. She groaned loudly and started to run after him. What had possessed her to say Mike's name out loud? She noticed that sometime during the night it had rained. Nick had just gotten outside the door when she called his name, "Nick!! Wait!!"

He answered with a voice full of hurt and barely controled anger, "Oh, so you do know that I'm not _Mike!_ Great! Now I can rest so much easier knowing that you wished it was Mike in your bed instead of me!!"

Catherine just stood there staring after him. She didn't know what to say to him. She needed to say something, but wasn't sure he would believe anything she told him. So she resorted to hurtful words, "Yeah! Your the man that so insecure of himself that he is afraid of a dead man!"

Nick stood there for a few seconds and finally spat out, "Bitch!"

"Bastard! Go to hell Nick."

"Already there _Catherine!_ Is there anything else you care to say to me? Any other ways to rip my heart out?"

"Just that I wish I'd never slept with you. Then _**this**_ wouldn't hurt so much!"

"What wouldn't hurt so much? I didn't call you by another woman's name, just hours after making love to you."

She walked closer to him and slapped his face. He was in shock at first. Then he was just plain hurt. He started to get into his SUV, but Catherine stopped him. She looked him in the eyes and whispered, "Don't come back here ever again."

"Gladly. See ya Catherine."

She turned away from him quickly. Before he could see the tears start falling down her cheek. Yes, tonight was definitely the worst night of her life. She'd lost two men tonight. The one she loved with all her heart and soul, and one who had been a wonderful friend.

Nick watched Catherine walk into the house. He heard the slamming of her door and felt his stomach drop. Part of him wanted to go in after her, but the other part wanted nothing to do with her. He followed the one that said leave, because he knew anything they said to each other would only lead to more angry words and tears and truthfully he didn't want to see her right now. Being called by another man's name was humiliation enough.

He simply got into his truck and drove away. It wasn't goodbye, but is was very close to it...

Catherine arrived at headquarters soon after Nick got there. They avoided each other until they ran into each other in the breakroom. Neither one said anything to the other. Catherine simply made her coffee and Nick made his. Each was careful not to touch the other. Truthfully they both wanted to admit they were wrong, but neither was willing to be the first to say so.

So, it was in the middle of this turmoil that Catherine and Nick were assigned to work together on a case. Catherine sighed and walked outside with Nick. She opened the door to their truck and climbed in. She didn't want Nick doing it for her. They drove to one of the high rise buildings in Las Vegas. It was deserted, but still had electricity going to it. So, they climbed onto the elevator and Nick pushed the button for the 13th floor. However, about halfway up it stopped. Leaving Catherine and Nick stranded between the sixth and seventh floors.

Nick pushed a few buttons, but still the elevator didn't move. Finally he said, "Damn, stupid elevator."

Catherine was barely able to contain her laughter as she said, "Nice chocie of words there Nicky."

Instead of replying, Nick just gave her a look. A few hours later, they were still in the elevator. Catherine was sitting on one side and Nick was on the other. It was so quiet in there that you could've heard a pin drop.Finally Nick couldn't take it any longer. He looked over and her and said simply, "I'm sorry Cath. I was a jealous fool. Can you ever forgive me?"

She looked at him with loving eyes. She'd wanted to make up with him as much as he wanted to make up with him. She moved closer to him and looked up at him. She saw the tears in his eyes. She grabbed his neck and lowered his head. Opening her mouth, she kissed him deeply.

She knew that he'd been hurting. He was still quite unsure of their relationship. She knew that she wanted to be with him right now. She felt his handsmove beneath her shirt. She smiled as she felt him remove her CSI vest. She removed his too. Almost as if in slow motion she felt herself being undressed by him. She was accutely aware of the fact that they were in a very public place and could be discovered at any time. However, none of that mattered at this point. All that mattered was the way Nick was making her feel right now.

She made quick work of his clothing and they sank to the floor of the elevator. Nick had his hand between her legs. Massaging her clit slowly. She moaned loudly, begging him to continue she whispered loudly, "Faster Nicky!"

Instead of following her wishes, he kissed her deeply one last time and then started trailing kisses down her chest. She was intensely aware of every last one of them. They were like little electric jolts that went thru her body. Pleasant, but painful at the same time. Wanting and needing more, she arched her back. Nick smiled because he knew the effect his touch was having on her.

Finally when she couldn't stand it any longer she grabbed Nick by the neck and turned him over. She climbed on top of him and whispered, "I can't wait any longer Nicky. I want you inside me."

Grabbing his cock she positioned it at the entrance to her body. Sitting on top of him, she smiled as felt his cock fill her up. Needing more friction on her clit, she rubbed it with her pointer finger. Nick's eyes rolled back in his eyes as she grabbed hold of his balls. Softly rubbing them while she made love to him in the elevator. All the while feeling a sense of release. She wanted this everyday. She smiled down at Nick as they came together. Their moans filled the air and their breathing labored. Suddenly the elevator started moving, but it was moving down instead of up. They were unable to get their clothes on before the door opened wide.

Nick and Catherine, still on the elevator floor, looked up and saw Grissom and Warrick staring down at them. Each was speechless as Catherine buried her face in Nick's shoulder. Nick smiled and stuttered, "I...i can explain. It's not what it looks like, um..."

Grissom stood at the entrance to the elevator with his hand on his hip and waited for Nick and Catherine to explain the compromising situation they found themsleves in...


	5. Chapter 5

Catherine got up and quickly dressed. She couldn't believe that Grissom had caught her and Nick. Her face was as red as her hair. Nick also dressed quickly and they went to face the music with Grissom.

They cleared their throats and Grissom turned around and asked, "I hope you have a good explanation for what happened in that elevator."

Catherine hung head and Nick looked embarassed as he said, "We got stuck in the elevator and..."

"You just decided that you had to get naked and make love right there. Regardless of the consequences and the way it would look if..."

Catherine spoke up at this point and said, "We weren't really thinking about that Gil! Actually we weren't thinking about work at all."

Nick and Grissom both gave her a incredilous look. They couldn't believe she was saying that. Nick's face had turned as red as Catherine's at this point. He looks at her as she continues, "We can't choose who we fall in love with Gil."

Grissom looks at her and says, "No, but you can't choose how you conduct yourself at work! What I witnessed in that elevator was inexcusable. You do realize there will be disciplinary actions taken."

Nick spoke up at this point and said, "It was completely my fault. I.."

Catherine stopped him, "No! I was my fault. As his supervisor I should have known better. It's my fault."

Grissom looked at the two of them. Obviously in love, but stuck between a rock and a hard place. Finally he said, "Let's just get to work."

After work they drove to headquarters. Nick and Catherine knew they would have to answer for their behavior in the elevator. They sighed as they walked out of the Denali and into the building. Catherine laughed and said, "What's the worst they could do?"

Nick shrugged and said, "Fire us?"

Catherine gave him a strange look. Finally she grabbed him and gave him a huge kiss. He looked at her and asked, "What was that for?"

"Just wanted to remind you how much I love you."

Nick smiled brightly. He knew that no matter what lay in front of him, he could take it. Knowing that Catherine loved him made it all worth it.

Meanwhile, someone was watching them. Unknown to them, this person had a plan that would serve to test everyone on the team. Two lives would hang in the balance and the team would be divided.

The days rolled into weeks. Catherine and Nick each received a reprimand for their behavior in the elevator. Catherine was placed on probation. Soon though, it would become apparent that what Grissom said and did were two totally different things. Simply put, he was good at telling others that they shouldn't be involved with co-workers, but he himself was involved with Sara.

Catherine was working the scene of a kidnapping. Sara had been taken. She turned around a corner at a parking garage, and suddenly found herself knocked out cold from behind. The next thing she remembered was seeing a figure standing above her. She couldn't tell whether the form was male or female. She just had a strange sense of forboding. Like this would be a moment of her life that she would never forget.

Back at headquarters Nick and Grissom each received calls at the exact same time. Both were informed that the ladies they loved were in danger. They could only save one of them.

Grissom and Nick met in the breakroom. Each of them conflicted. Nick would move heaven and earth to save Catherine. Grissom felt the same about Sara. It was decided that Nick and Greg would work on Sara's kidnapping and Warrick and Grissom would work Catherine's. It was done this way to insure that nothing was compromised. They would need an impartial person working on each of the cases.

Nick sat in the breakroom. Staring into space and lost in his thoughts he thought about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. He and Catherine had found out that she was expecting a baby. No one knew about it. Catherine was insistant about that. So, they weren't just trying to save two lives, but three. Nick knew that if anyting happened to Catherine and the baby, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions.

So, he went about his day looking for Sara. Knowing that by doing his job, he could have some sense of normalcy. What he really wanted, was to hold Catherine in his arms and tell her how

much he loved her. Would he get that chance again? He could only pray so.

Meanwhile, Grissom was putting just as much effort into finding Catherine. He loved Sara, but knewthat he'd put the right CSI on the job. Nick was an excellent CSI, and each man had the rest of the department behind them.

He couldn't wait to tell Sara how much he loved her. Hopefully they would find her before something terrible happened...

Fast forward. Greg and Nick have found Sara. Catherine is still missing.

We see Nick sitting in the break room.

Sitting in the break room at headquarters was like hell for Nick. He hated sitting around doing nothing. Warrick came into the nreakroom and asked, "Is everything okay Nick?"

Nick shook his head and told him, "No! Everything is not okay. I'm sitting her drinking bad tasting coffee and the woman I love is out there somewhere!"

Warrick nodded his head and said, "I understand how you feel..."

"How can you understand how I feel? She's my life Warrick. If I loose her and the..."

Nick stops suddenly as he realizes what he is about to say. Warrick gives him and look and asks, "If you loose what Nick?"

"Nothing Warrick. Just forget that I said anything. It's not important."

Warrick didn't believe him for a second and said, "If it's something important Nick, we need to know."

Nick nodded and said, "Okay. She's going to kill me when she finds out I told you."

"Told me what?"

Sighing Nick told him, "She's two months pregnant."

Warrick gave him a look and exclaimed, "What? She's pregnant and you didn't think that information was important?"

Nick shook his head slowly, "It wasn't that. We didn't want anyone knowing until the she was further along."

Warrick ran out of the room. Now it was a whole new ball game. There was not only one life hanging in the balance. There were two.

Just when Nick was starting to give up hope they got a break in the case. It turns out that the person who kidnapped Catherine made a stupid mistake. He bragged about the crime to a friend, who in turn called the Las Vegas PD. The minute Nick heard about it, he took off running. Not caring that he could put the case in danger, his only thought was finding Catherine and telling her how much he loved her.

She was being hidden in an abandoned apartment building. Turns out, the man had a grudge against Catherine for a long time. He was the brother of a murder suspect Catherine had helped put behind bars. She was dirty and hungry, but otherwise unhurt. The first person she asked to see was Nick.

He ran over to her and kissed her deeply. She held onto him tightly as she cried. He looked her over to make sure she was okay. Finally he asked her the big question, "The baby?"

"I'm not sure. He didn't hit me, but I've been having cramps."

Nick called out to the paramedics, "We need to get her to the hospital!"

The paramedics put her on a gurney and whisked her off to the ambulance. She was protesting the whole time, but Nick was adamant about getting her checked out. He held her hand the entire way to the hospital. Giving her kisses on her hand from time to time. She smiled over at him. They were mostly silent on the way. The only sounds that could be heard, were the sounds of the ambulance siren.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Catherine was whisked into the ER. Nick went over to the waiting room and sat down. Soon the rest of the team met him there. They made small talk and waited for the doctor to come out and speak to them...


	6. Chapter 6

The team was very quiet as they waited for word on Catherine. No one spoke and even Grissom appeared worried. Finally after hours of waiting, the doctor appeared in the waiting room.

Nick stood up quickly and asked, "How is she doctor?"

The doctor looked grim as he said, "It's been touch and go. We've been working hard to save her and the baby. I'm afraid..."

Before he could say anything else, Nick felt himself starting to feel weak in the knees. Grissom grabbed his arms and held him up. Finally the doctor continued, "that we won't know anything for awhile. It's going to be touch and go."

Nick felt his heart lighten up a little. Finally he asked, "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded and said, "Only one at a time."

It was agreed that Nick would go first. He felt the tears in his eyes as he watched Catherine sleeping in the bed. She was whiter than the sheets, but at least she was alive. He walked over and kissed her on the head.

That made her awaken from her slumber and she smiled and said, "Hey handsome."

Nick laughed. Even after all that she'd been through, she still had her sense of humor. He looked at her and asked, "How do you feel?"

She smiled weakly, "I feel like hell! When can I get out of here?"

Nick laughed. He knew that she'd be okay. She had her fight back and that would see her through everything. Finally he leaned over and whispered softly, "Catherine, I need to tell you something."

She looked at him with wide eyes. Wondering what he was up to. He smiled and said, "Warrick and the rest of the team know about the baby. I'm sorry. I know we agreed to wait, but..."

He looked so upset that she had to put him out of his misery, "I know. Warrick told me that he knew."

"And your not mad?"

"How can I be mad? I'm having your baby Nick. That makes me the happiest woman in the world."

Nick smiled, took a deep breath and asked, "Catherine, when you were missing I realized something. I want you in my life forever. I want you to be there when I wake up and before I go to sleep. Catherine Willows, would you marry me?"

She nodded thru her tears and told him, "I will."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. She felt her toes curl as she kissed him. She knew that she'd finally found her true love. She laughed as she felt his hands on her stomach. He leaned down and said, "Your mommy has just made me that happiest woman in the world."

She smiled and swatted his shoulder and tried to push him away. She only half meant it. She loved having him here beside her. It felt like her world was whole again.

The others came in to see her. Grissom was the last one in. He looked down at her and said, "So, your having a baby."

She nodded and looked at a imaginary spot on the wall. Finally he said, "Congratulations."

She was expecting anything but this. She swallowed hard and said, "Thank you Gil."

He nodded and said, "Take all the time you need to get better. Then I expect to see you back at work. Nick will need to be reassigned to another supervisor though."

Catherine nodded and said, "I know. Gil, you have to know that we never meant for this to happen. It just sort of happened for us."

Grissom looked at her and said, "I know what your talking about Catherine. Just keep it out of the office."

She nodded and watched him walk out of the room. She settled back into the hospital bed and closed her eyes...


	7. Chapter 7

After a week, Catherine is released from the hopital. She is wheeled outside and smiles when she sees Nick standing in front of his Denali. She looked at him and said, "I could've drove myself home."

He laughs and tells her, "How would you have gotten home? Fly?"

She shakes her head and laughs. She stands up and he rushes to open the door for her. She smiles at how cute this whole scene is. She never thought that she'd find this kind of love. There was something special about this man and she was glad that he'd chosen her to love.

Nick smiled as he shut the door and walked around the front. He stopped briefly, looked at her and thought about how lucky he was to have someone as special as Catherine to love. Never in all his life had he thought he'd find someone like her.

He smiled as he climbed in the drivers seat, sat down and asked, "Ready to go?"

Catherine nodded, "Most definitely. Let's blow this joint."

Nick laughed as he drove towards her house. He'd planned something special for her homecoming and made sure he drove the speed limit. Finally they arrived at Catherine's house. She had no idea that inside the house were the people she loved and cared about most.

She walked into the dark house and turned on the light. Suddenly all the people that were hidden yelled, "Surprise!!"

Catherine jumped with a start and said, "What's this for?"

Brass smiled and said, "We wanted to welcome you home."

She laughed and rushed forward to hug him. Soon everyone came forward to welcome her home. Finally after what seemed like many hours, everyone left and it was just Nick and her sitting one the couch.

Nick looked at her and said, "You look tired."

She nodded and said, "I'm a little tired."

Nick pretended to pout and she laughed. He looked at her and said, "Can I walk you to your room?"

She laughed and said, "You can stay Nicky. If you behave!"

He laughed and said, "I'll be on my best behavior."

She wiggled her eyebrows and said, "That's what I'm hoping! It's been too long since we've made love. I need you Nicky."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, grabbed him and gave him a deep kiss. She felt her heart skip a beat as his fingers ran thru her hair. She smiled as she led him towards the bedroom. She shut the door behind her. Effectively shutting out the rest of the world.

Once inside the bedroom Catherine didn't waste any time removing Nick's clothes. Nick was stunned at how fast she had him naked. He stopped kissing her long enough to ask, "Excited Cath?"

She simply nodded as she got rid of her clothes. She kissed him again deeper. More insistant. It was as if she was afraid that stopping the kissing would be the death of her.

Truth be told, she was afraid that Nick would change his mind about marrying her. She wasn't the youngest or the prettiest woman in the world. She'd been worried that he'd realize what a mistake he was making and change his mind. That was something that she prayed would never happen. She felt herself tearing up at the mere thought of that happening.

Nick noticed the intensity with which she kissed him. It was an urgent, needy kiss. He pulled away from her and noticed the tears. He looked at her and asked, "What's wrong babe?"

She simply looked at him and asked, "Why me?"

At first he wasn't sure he'd understood the question. He looked at her and asked, "Why you what?"

"Why did you choose me to love? Certainly there were other prettier women. Younger women. Why not Sara or Sophia? Why me?"

Nick sighed. He known that there might come a day when she'd ask that question. He'd been afraid of it, because now it meant that he had to tell her what he'd always felt. He just hoped she understood and didn't hate him for it...


	8. Chapter 8

Nick stood there for a bit longer than he should have. Finally Catherine turned away from him and said, "I guess I have my answer then."

He tugged on her arm and said, "I hate what you'll think when I tell you then answer."

"Just put me at ease here Nick. I can't help but wonder why on earth you chose me to love."

Nick sighed and walked her over to the bed. He sat her down and then sat next to her. He took her face in his hands and whispered, "I've always loved you Catherine. Even back when you were married to Eddie. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to tell you how I felt. But..."

She looked at him and asked, "But what?"

"But you were married. At first happily and then after things fell apart I didn't think I stood a chance with you. Your out of my league Catherine."

She gave him a puzzled look and said, "What?"

"You have this confident glow surrounding you Catherine. You know exactly what you want and how to get it."

They stared at each other for a few brief moments. Finally Catherine started laughing and said, "We make quite a couple."

Nick leaned forward and kissed her deeply. Finally Catherine stood in front of him. She could barely control her emotions as Nick placed his hand on her still flat stomach. There was something so incredibly erotic about that simple touch. It nearly brought her to tears. She placed her hand on top of his and whispered softly, "Make love to me Nick."

Nick nodded with tears in his eyes. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before they kissed deeply.

bMy Love-Little Texas

Get on your mark get set

Ready or not here I come

You've been looking for love

Well honey I can give you some

When your world is standing still

I can turn it around

Put your head up in the clouds

And pick your feet off the ground

My love

Are you ready for my love my love

My love my love is ready for you

If you're looking for a heart that's always true

Only to you

Then my love

My love my love is ready for you

Girl I've heard it said

That love is food for the soul

I see the hunger in your eyes

Burnin' out of control

My love is overflowing

From a loving cup

Girl I know you're down

But love will lift you up

My love

Are you ready for my love my love

My love my love is ready for you

If you're looking for a heart that's always true

Only to you

Then my love

My love my love is ready for you

My love is overflowing

From a loving cup

Girl I know you're down

But love will lift you up

My love

Are you ready for my love my love

My love my love is ready for you

If you're looking for a heart that's always true

Only to you

Then my love

My love my love is ready for you

My love my love is ready for you

My love my love is ready for you/b

Catherine looks at Nick and smiles as she falls into bed and pulls him with her. He lets out a startled yelp. She laughs and asks him, "You okay there Nicky?"

He nods his head and answers truthfully, "Never been better Cath."

She starts to say something, but Nick stops her with a finger to her lips, "You talk too much Cath."

She smiles at him and gets a silly look on her face. Before he can react she flips him over and pins his arms to the bed. The look that passes between them can only be described as a look of incredible love. Catherine has never felt such peace before with a man. Nick makes her feel like the most incredibly special person in the world. Just one look can make her smile, even when she feels like everything is going wrong.

She gives him a look and says, "Let's get married."

Nick laughs and tells her, "That's what the ring I gave you is for. We just need to plan it and..."

"I want to get married tonight. I don't want to wait another day, hour, minute or second. I want..."

Nick laughs and tells her, "Impatient aren't we!"

She laughs and nods her head as she says, "I love you Nick Stokes."

Nick smiles and says, "Well, we could leave now or after we make love."

Catherine pretends to think it over. Finally she says, "Now."

She jumps out of bed and starts to get dressed. She looks at Nick who is still in bed. She gives him a look and says, "Get a move on Mr.!! I can't wait until tomorrow!"

Nck laughs as he gets out of bed. She takes one look at him and throws her clothes to the floor. She smiles and pushes him back onto the bed. He gives her a look and says, "We can wait until after we make love."

She kisses him deeply as he pulls her into the bed. Feeling between her legs, he is surprised to find that she's already soaking wet. He smiles as he finds her clit and her legs spread open wider. She moans loudly and calls out his name loudly, "Oh Nick!!"

Nick smiles and continues to pleasure her slowly. It's almost painful as he lets his fingers linger slowly over her clit. Finally she looks at him and moans as she commands, "Make love to me Nick. Now!!"

Nick smiles as he pulls her on top of him. Now in control, she smiles as she lowers herself onto him. He moans as he feels her body surround him. She is so warm, wet and soft that he feels as if he's died and gone to heaven...


	9. Chapter 9

Hours later, Catherine and Nick are laying awake in bed. Catherine was serious when she said that she wanted to marry Nick tonight. She let her fingers trace little circles on his chest. Finally he kissed her head and asked, "Were you serious about us getting married tonight? I'd think you want your family and friends there with us to celebrate."

She nodded and replied, "I do, but I don't want to wait another day to marry you Nick. We've already waited too long."

He looked down at her and knew that he felt the same way. He finally said, "Let's get married Cath. I love you and I'm ready to make you my wife."

She felt a tear slip down her cheek. It felt like a dream and it was only when he held out his hand to her. She took his hand in hers and smiled. She knew that this was the right thing to do. She smiled up at him and they kissed for the briefest of moments. Finally she grabbed her clothes and watched him get dressed. They walked out the his truck hand in hand.

bI'd Find You-Chris Cagle

In a crowd, in the dark

I would walk straight to your heart

Without any hesitation

Every turn, every town

Every highway I go down

Baby, you're my destination

And even if nowhere was where every road lead me to

Chorus:

I'd find you

I'd find you

In the day or the night, in the black or the white

In the red of a rose of the depths of the ocean blue

I'd find you

Even if you and I

Never met, still I know I'd find

You among the millions

It's beyond my control

Like a magnet pullin' my soul

Across the great division

And even if I lost my way in this world I walk through

(Repeat Chorus)

All my life I need you next to me

'Cause in your eyes I see my destiny

And I'd find you

Yeah I'd find you

In the face of a child, in the warmth of a smile

On the first day of spring when the flowers grow wild

Every song ever sung about bein' in love

Every kiss, every hug, every touch

Anytime, anyplace, in the whole human race

In the sweet memories and the ones yet to be

In the wrong and the right and the beauty that lies in the truth

I'd find you

Yeah I'd find you/b

A few hours later, Catherine and Nick walked out into the darkness as Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Stokes. Catherine's face had a glow on it that had been missing for too long. Nick knew that the first call he had to make was to his parents. They hadn't known that he'd been dating anyone, let alone having a baby and getting married.

Catherine looked at him and was curious about the look that had suddenly appeared on his face. She asked, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and said, "Nothing. I was just trying to figure out how to tell my parents. They are going to be shocked that we got married."

She looked at him and asked, "Regretting us eloping and not telling anyone?"

He shook his head and replied, "Not on your life Mrs. Stokes."

She laughed and said, "Good Mr. Stokes, because I plan on loving you for a long, long time."

He laughed and held her hand and told her, "Good, cause when my mom starts crying, I'm giving you the phone."

She laughed and said, "Nothing would make me happier Nicky. Nothing."

They walked to his truck and drove to his house. Once there, they fell into a contented sleep.

Early the next morning, Nick and Catherine were sitting on the couch looking at the phone. She laughed and asked, "Are you going to actually call them or are we going to stare at the phone all morning?"

"I figured that if I stare at it long enough, they'll be able to read my mind and..."

She laughed, picked up the phone and asked, "Let's call Nicky."

He kissed her and dialed the number for her. He laughed as his mom picked up and said, "Hello Nicholas. What do we owe the pleasure of this call?"

Nick took a deep breath and asked, "Are you sitting down Mom?"

"Why? What's wrong?"

Nick decided that the best way to break the news was to just say it, "I got married last night mom."

The silence on the other side of the phone was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Finally she said, "Who?"

"Catherine mom. And there's more."

His mom swallowed and said, "More."

"She's having my baby mom."

Again silence followed the statement. She finally replied, "You didn't want the family there to celebrate?"

Nick sighed and told her, "Mom, we wanted to get married last night. We still plan on having a wedding for the family. In fact, we wanted to know if you and dad could come out here next month."

Nick's mom laughed and said, "You can count on it Nicholas. Now, let me talk to my daughter-in-law."

Nick held out the phone to Catherine and said, "She wants to talk to you."

Catherine swallowed, took the phone and said, "Hello, Mrs. Stokes."

Nick's mom corrected her, "Please Catherine, call me Mom!"

Catherine smiled and said, "Okay mom. I hope you and Mr. Stokes can come out here next month. We really want to celebrate with both of our families."

Nick's mom assured Catherine that they would be there. Finally after a few more minutes they hung up the phone. Catherine smiled at Nick and said, "It sounds like she's happy for us."

Nick nodded and pulled her close for a kiss...


	10. Chapter 10

Nick smiled and said, "I think she's happy that I finally found someone that was able to settle me down."

She laughed lightly and kissed him softly. She looked at him and whispered, "What can I say, I love a challenge!"

Leaning in, she pulled him in for a deep kiss. Unable to stop herself, she mumbled, "I think we better take this into the bedroom Mr. Stokes."

"I couldn't agree more Mrs. Stokes."

She laughed and ran into the bedroom with Nick close behind her. He watched as she plowed onto the bed and laid there in the middle of the huge king size bed. She looked like a queen laying there. Finally he allowed himself to whisper, "Your beautiful Cath."

She laughed and said, "Just remember that when I'm almost 9 months pregnant and look like a beached whale."

He smiled and said, "You'll still be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Your having my baby. What could make any man happier than that?"

Catherine simply laughed and held out her hand for him. He took it and she pulled him into the bed with her. Laughing he turned and kissed her deeply. She returned the kiss and for a few moments, they were completely lost in each other.

Nick's hands traveled over her body. It was at that precise moment that he body decided to empty the contents of her stomach all over the bed and Nick. She looked at him with a horrified expression on her face as she said, "Oh my God! I am so sorry Nick. I guess..."

Before she could finish the sentance her stomach started rumbling again, this time she was actually able to make it to the bathroom. Not really believing that she would have anything left in her stomach to loose, she was surprised when she proceeded to get sick all over again...

A few hours later, Catherine and Nick were laying on the bed. Catherine had finally stopped getting sick and Nick cleaned up the bed and put fresh sheets on it. He looked back on it and laughed at Catherine's horrified expression as she came out of the bathroom. He'd looked at her and said, "It's okay Cath. Really."

"We've been married for almost three hours and I'm already getting sick on you."

Nick laughed and held her in his arms. Finally he looked at her and asked, "Feeling better?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna kiss you and I don't want to get puked on!"

He started laughing uncontrolably and felt Catherine swat him weakly. Finally her pulled her close and started kissing her softly. She smiled as she settled into his arms.

Nick undressed Catherine carefully. She smiled as she watched him. He decided that a massage was in order. So, he ran his hands over her body. Kissing her ever so gently he smiled as he felt her shiver. However, when he reached her stomach he stopped and bent down. Pressing his head to her stomach he simply listened. Catherine started to say, "What are you..."

He held a hand up and whispered softly, "I want to listen to the baby."

She smiled as she felt the tears coming into her eyes. She'd never heard anything quite as romantic as this. She swore that she couldn't get any more emotional until she heard Nick say, "Hey there little one. It's your daddy. I can't wait to meet you and teach you all about baseball and.."

Catherine laughed and said, "What if it's a girl?"

"Girls can still like baseball and fishing."

Catherine laughed and simply watched Nick as he talked to her stomach. Content with the fact that she'd married the most wonderful man in the whole world...


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note-Okay. Just a warning about this chapter. This chapter might make you cry or it might make you angry. Just know that everything will turn out good in the end. I just felt it was getting a little too predictable, so I needed to do something to shake it up. Again, please don't hate me.

Late that night Catherine awoke with a start. She felt a the most terrible pain in her stomach. At first Catherine thought it was more of the same sickness she'd felt earlier. It quickly became apparent that it was someting much more serious. Nick was sleeping soundly beside her. A slight snoring coming from him. She smiled briefly before another pain hit her.

Shaking with a mixture of fear and incredible pain, she gently shook Nick awake. It took him a few seconds to wake up. When he looked over at Catherine and saw her terror stricken face, he was instantly awake. He looked at asked, "What's wrong?"

She shook her heand and whispered thru the pain, "I'm not sure. Something's terribly wrong though Nick."

Nick was out of the bed in an instant. He had his jeans on before she had finished the sentance. She was struggling to get out of bed. He helped her get dressed and steadied her as she got out of the bed. He looked at her and asked, "Can you walk?"

She started to say something, but soon doubled over in pain. That was all the answer he needed. He bent over and lifted her in his arms. Carrying her to the car, he opened the door and set her inside carefully. She buckled her seat belt and waited for him to climb inside. She closed her eyes and prayed all the way to the hospital.

Nick drove faster than he'd ever drove before in his life. He'd never been so scared. He arrived at the hospital in about five minutes. He pulled up, stopped the car and ran around to the other side. He lifted her out of the truck and carried her into the hospital. He ran looking for a nurse. Catherine was still awake, but still in incredible pain. Nick found a nurse and placed her on the gurney that they pointed out to him. Then they wheeled her back behind the swinging doors.

It was many hours later before Nick was told anything by the doctor. When the doctor finally came out, he had a sad look on his face. Before he even spoke a word, Nick knew that it wasn't good. The doctor looked at Nick and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Stokes, by the time we were able to stabalize her she'd already lost so much blood that there wasn't a chance to save the baby."

Nick nodded sadly and asked, "Can I see my wife?"

"Yes of course. Just know that she's been given some powerful sedatives. She's also recovering from the shock of loosing the baby."

Nick merely nodded and allowed himself to be led into Catherine's room. At first her wasn't sure that she was aware of him being in the room. As the door closed he walked slowly over to her bed. He pulled up a chair close to the bed. She was looking out the window and was deathly still. He reached for her hand and felt it tighten around his. It was then that he realized that she was crying.

Crying for the baby she lost. Crying for Nick and crying because she felt like a failure. Without looking at him she whispered, "I'll understand it if you want to divorce me and find someone else. Someone younger that can give you a family."

It was a that moment that Nick felt a rage unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He walked around to the other side of the bed, looked her in the face and asked, "Is that why you think I married you? Because you were having a baby? Good God Cath! Don't you realize how much I love you? You! Not because of whether or not we can have a baby together."

"Most men care about..."

"I'm not most men Catherine! I love you for the bright, intelligent, wonderful, caring and loving woman that you are."

Unable to look at him any longer, she closed her eyes and said, "I'd like to be alone now Nick. Please."

He looked at her for what seemed to be an eternity. Finally he said, "I'll leave because I love you enough to respect your wishes Cath, but I'll be back."

She closed her eyes tighter as she heard the door close softly behind him. Nothing before had ever sound quite as loud to her ears. It was then that she let the tears flow. At first they came slowly. Then as the minutes passed, they turned into a virtual flood. Soon she was curled up on the bed and sobbing as if her world was coming to an end.

Nick was standing outside the door listening to her sobbing. He wanted to go into that room and hold her until all of the tears went away. However, he knew that if he went into that room at that moment, she'd probably yell at him and tell him to go away and never come back. So, he stood there on the other side of that damn door listening to his wife sobbing her heart out and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

He felt like punching something. A wall. Throwing a chair. Something. He'd never felt so powerless in his life. So, knowing he'd probably pay dearly for it, he walked back into the room, sat on the bed and held her while she cried. She clung to him as if her life depended on it. He was a life preserver in a vast ocean. She'd never felt so lost and out of control in her life before. She knew that nothing would be the same after this night, but for now Nick was here. Holding her. Giving her the strength that she needed to go on. If only for one more night...


	12. Chapter 12

After what seemed like hours, Catherine finally stopped the heaving sobs. Eventually her sobs turned into whimpers. The whimpers finally gave way to a fretful sleep. Nick sat there watching her for at least an hour. He needed to talk to someone, so he ventured out into the Las Vegas night and called the first person he could think of. His mom.

The phone rang three times before she picked up in a sleepy voice, "H-hello?"

Nick didn't realize how much this night had effected him, until he said, "Hi mom, it's Nick."

"Nicholas? Is everything okay?"

It was then that he started crying. Finally he was able to sob out, "She lost the baby mom."

His mom was silent for a brief moment. Finally she said, "Oh Nicky! When did it happen?"

"Tonight. Why mom? We were so happy and then this. She wouldn't even look at me. I think she blames me mom."

His mom was silent for a few moments. Finally she said, "I know what she's going thru Nick. I lost a baby right after you were born."

Nick was silent. He had no idea that his mom had been thru this. He finally said, "I never knew."

"It wasn't something that your father and I talk about. Even though it happened so long ago, I can remember the pain and feeling of loss. Even today it hurts to think about it."

"I don't know what to say to her. It hurts so bad mom."

"Just be there for her Nick. Tell her that you love her, but most of all don't ever give up on her. She's going to be depressed and angry Nick. Even though is seems like she's mad at you, she isn't. Not really."

Nick nodded and said, "Thanks mom. I love you."

Nick's mom smiled and they hung up. Nick looked back at the hospital and sighed heavily. He felt helpless and wanted to know how to take away her pain. In his heart he knew that was impossible, but in his mind, he wanted to take her place in that bed. He wanted to make all the hurt and pain go away.

He walked into her room and saw her standing by to window. She didn't say anything to him when he walked inside the room. He really didn't think she knew he was there. Although that thought was somewhat crazy. He'd made enough noise that anyone would've been able to hear. He walked over to her and noticed that she'd been crying again. He tried to put his arms around her, but she shrugged him off and walked away from him.

So, there he stood on the brink of loosing everything. They'd already lost their baby. Were they going to loose each other too?

After what had to be the longest silence in their lives, Nick said, "Talk to me here Cath. Tell me how to help you!"

"I don't even know if the baby was a boy or a girl. I never..." She started crying again. This time she walked into his arms. Heaving sobs racked her body! He knew it was going to take all the strength they had to get thru this dark time in their lives. He only prayed that their relationship was strong enough to survive this.

Walking Catherine over to the bed he sat down and said, "I love you Catherine. I can never understand what your going thru, but I want to be there for you. I want to help you through this. I'll be there for you. I married you because I love you."

"What if I can't carry a pregnancy to term Nick? Will you still love me then?"

He lifted up her chin and said, "I will love you no matter what. Our baby is an angel now. I married you for better or worse Catherine, nothing will ever change that. Nothing."

She started sobbing harder. She knew that he loved her. She just hoped that their love would see them through this horrible time in their lives...


	13. Chapter 13

Catherine was released from the hospital the next day. She was silent during the ride back. Every time Nick tried to engage her in a conversation, she would answer him with either a "Yes" or a "No". Nick fially gave up trying to talk to her. He knew that she was crying, but he had no idea how to reach her in the state that she was in. So, most of the journey was silent. By the time they got back to her house Nick felt like crying himself.

When they arrived at her house, she got out of the car and walked silently into the house. Not stopping to take off her shoes, she walked into the bedroom, threw her purse on the floor and climbed into bed.

Nick took a deep breath, walked over to the bed. He kneeled beside the bed and put his hand on her back. He felt her recoil at his touch. Ever cautious, he pulled his hand away as if her skin burned his hand. He decided to try again, hoping that maybe he just startled her. She had pretty much the same reaction. Finally he asked, "Is there something wrong Cath?"

She simply shook her head. He felt as if she was shutting him out of her life. He wanted to share her grief, but she was unwilling or unable to talk to him. So, he walked around to the other side of the bed and looked at her. This caused her to close her eyes tightly and she refused to look at him. Finally he said, "Talk to me Cath. I can't make it better if..."

This finally got a response from her. However, it wasn't one that he was expecting. She opened her eyes and gave him a looked filled with such hatred that he wished she would close her eyes again. She sat up and let go of all the hurt and anger she'd been feeling. Most of what she said was completely untrue, but she was hurting terribly and wanted to make him hurt just as much as she was, "You want to know how you can make me feel better?! I'll tell you how you can make me feel better. Get the hell out of my house and out of my life. I wish I'd never married you and most of all I wish that I'd never gotten pregnant with your baby. Because then I wouldn't be hurting so damn bad that I want to curl up and die!!"

Nick stood at the edge of the bed. He was completely speechless. He hadn't been expecting such bitter words from Catherine. He looked at her and said, "I know that your hurting right now Catherine. I feel the same way. It was my baby too after all."

In her head Catherine knew that he was right, but she was running on pure emotion right now and wasn't thinking clearly as she said, "Get out! Now Nick!! I can't talk to you right now. I need to be alone. I don't want you here!"

It was then that Nick let the tears flow from his eyes. He couldn't believe that their marriage was over before it had barely begun. He looked at her and said, "You can't mean that Catherine."

"I do Nick!! Get the hell out of here!!" She picked up the first thing she reached for. A crystal vase. It just barely missed his head, hit the wall and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. It was then that Nick knew she was serious. He went to the closet. Took a few clothes out of it, looked at Catherine and said, "This isn't over. We still need to talk about this. It's just too soon. I love you Catherine. I'll be back soon."

He leaned over and kissed her. She recoiled from the kiss and it was almost like she'd been burned. She turned away from him and he listened to the sobs. He hated to leave her, so he did the only thing he knew to do. He reached out for her and grabbed her in a hug. At first she struggled. She hit his chest with all the anger she felt inside. The more she hit him, the tighter he held onto her. Soon she stopped struggling simply collapsed against him. She was thankful that Nick was holding her, because she knew that she would have collapsed into a puddle on the floor.

She felt Nick carrying her to the bed and placed her onto it. Just when she felt like she couldn't cry anymore, the floodgate opened and the tears started all over again. Nick leaned over and whispered, "I'll be back sweetheart."

She couldn't believe that he'd actually left her. She looked at her nightstand and saw a picture of her and Nick that was taken a few years ago.

_**Stay With Me-Danity Kane**_

_**Verse 1**_

_**Raindrops, Fall From, Everywhere**_

_**I Reach Out, For You, But Your Not There**_

_**So I Stood, Waiting, In The Dark**_

_**With Your Picture, In My Hands**_

_**Story Of a Broken Heart**_

_**Chorus**_

_**Stay With Me**_

_**Don't Let Me Go**_

_**Cause I Can't Be Without You**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**And Hold Me Close**_

_**Because I've Built My World Around You**_

_**And I Don't Wanna Know What's It Like Without You**_

_**So Stay with Me**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**Verse 2**_

_**I'm Trying And Hoping, For The Day**_

_**When my touch is enough**_

_**To Take The Pain Away**_

_**Cause I've Searched For So Long**_

_**The Answer Is Clear**_

_**We'll be OK if We Don't Let It Disappear**_

_**Chorus**_

_**Stay With Me**_

_**Don't let Me go**_

_**Cause I Can't Be Without You**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**And Hold Me Close**_

_**Because I've Built My World Around You**_

_**And I Don't Wanna Know What's it Like Without You**_

_**So Stay with Me**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**Verse 3**_

_**I've searched my heart over**_

_**So many many times**_

_**No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night**_

_**Our Picture Hangs Up To**_

_**Remind Me Of The Days**_

_**You Promised Me We'd Always**_

_**And Never Go Away**_

_**That's Why I Need You To Stay**_

_**Chorus**_

_**Stay With Me**_

_**Don't let Me go**_

_**Cause I Can't Be Without You**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**And Hold Me Close**_

_**Because I've Built My World Around You**_

_**And I Don't Wanna Know What's It Like Without You**_

_**So Stay with Me**_

_**Just Stay With Me**_

_**Fades**_

_**oh.. oh oh**_

_**don't leave**_

_**so I stay waiting in the dark...**_

She closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn't come. Not until she heard her bedroom door open. She felt Nick settle into the bed and sit next to her. She reached for a tissue, blew her nose and turned to face him. He had a goofy grin on his face. She looked at him and despite her best judgment she asked, "What?"

He held out his hand to her. Not really in the mood for games she simply looked at him and repeated, "What?"

Nick smiled and placed something smooth and round in her hand and said, "I just felt like I needed to give this to you. Something special."

She looked at the item that he'd handed her and noticed that it was a small brown stone that had the word, "Remember" on it. Below it was the date. She'd never thought that she could love him more, but this gesture proved her wrong.

She sat up, looked at him and murmured, "I'm sorry Nick. I didn't mean to say those awful things to you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Nick nodded and flashed her a huge grin as he said, "Forgive what?"

She knew then that they were on their way back to finding each other. She would never forget the baby they lost, but hopefully with time, it would get easier to cope with.

She leaned into him and gave him a huge kiss...


	14. Chapter 14

The days turned into weeks and soon Catherine and Nick were both back at work. Of course, they both worked under different supervisors. Catherine and Nick's wedding for their friends and family was coming up soon. There were moments that Catherine would stop and remember what she lost. She would allow herself to tear up, but then she would look at the stone that Nick gave her and she'd find the strength that she needed to go on.

Nick's parents arrived on a bright sunny Friday afternoon. Nick met them at the airport and smiled as his parents hugged him. Nick's mom was the first to ask, "How's Catherine holding up?"

Nick smiled and said, "She's doing okay. There are still moments that she cries about the baby, but it's getting easier everyday."

Nick's dad asked, "How are you doing son?"

Nick smiled sadly and told them, "I can't say it's been easy. There are moments that I wonder what the baby would've looked like. Would it have looked more like me or Catherine or both of us."

Nick's parents nodded in understanding. They finally arrived at Catherine's house and were greeted with the sounds of laughter coming from inside the house. Nick's parents looked at him and asked, "Who's that?"

Nick smiled and said, "Catherine's daughter Lindsay had a sleepover tonight. It's her birthday this weekend. So..."

Catherine came into the living room at that moment and saw his parents. She walked over to hug Nick and said, "Hello Mom. Dad."

It still felt strange to call them that, but it was getting easier. Finally Catherine excused herself and went into the kitchen to finish getting dinner ready. Nick introduced Lindsay to his parents and ran back to her friends.

Over a lovely dinner, they discussed plans for the wedding. It was going to be a very small wedding. Just their closest family and friends. In total only about 15 people were invited to attend.

Soon it was time for bed and Catherine led them to the guest bedroom. She smiled as she said goodnight to them.

She met Nick in their bedroom and smiled as he took her into his arms. They kissed each other deeply. Nick looked at her and she nodded. It had been a long time since they made love. Since right before they lost the baby. He smiled as they undressed each other. Standing there in the middle of the bedroom, their world suddenly felt complete again.

Nick picked her up and carried her over to the bed. Smiling as he walked to the foot of the bed and started crawling into bed with her. She started giggling as his hands tickled her feet. Giggles soon turned into outright laughter. He smiled and knew then that they were well on their way to love again.

She stopped laughing when she remembered that his parents were in the other room. She looked at him and said, "We need to behave. Mom and Dad are in the other room."

He looked at her and said, "And you don't think they've ever done this? How do you think I came to be?"

She laughed at him and said, "TMI!! That's a picture I didn't need to have in my head!"

He laughed and kissed her and said, "We need this Cath. I've missed you sweetheart."

No Ordinary Love-Jennifer Love Hewitt

This could have been just another day

But instead we're standing here

No need for words, it's all been said

in the way you hold me near

I was alone on this journey

You came along to comfort me

Everything I want in life is right here

Chorus:

cause

This is not your ordinary

no ordinary love

I was not prepared enough

to fall so deep in love

This is not your ordinary

no ordinary love

You were the first to touch my heart

Made everything right again

with your extraordinary love

Chorus

I get so weak

when you look at me

I get lost inside your eyes

sometimes the magic is hard to believe

but you're here before my weary eyes

you brought joy to my world

set me so free

I want you to understand

you are every breath that I breathe

Chorus

From the very first time that we kissed

I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all

From this day on, remember this:

That you're the only one that I adore

Can't we make this last forever

This can't be a dream

cause it feels so good to me

Chorus x2

Catherine looked at him. She loved Nick more than she'd ever loved another man before. Everything that they'd been thru up until this point in their lives had made them much stronger. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. She smiled as she layed down on the bed, pulled him down and kissed him deeply. Looking into his eyes, she knew she'd finally found the place that she belonged. She couldn't believe the way her heart filled with love at the mere sight of him.

Nick looked deep into her eyes and finally said, "I want to make love to you Cath. Right now. I love you and..."

Catherine pulled his head down for a deep kiss. She opened her legs wider and smiled as she felt him enter her. She'd missed the feeling of him inside her. They looked in each others eyes as they made love. Wanting the moment to last he moved slowly inside of her. For once she didn't try to urge him to go faster. She wanted to savor this moment forever. Knowing that sometimes love like this couldn't be explained or questioned, just accepted.

Catherine wrapped her legs around Nick as he made love to her. Nick leaned down to kiss her softly and she felt such a rush of emotion that she started crying. She smiled at him through her tears and watched as the tears appeared in his eyes. Matching hers tear for tear. He leaned down and kissed her gently. Suddenly she wanted him to go faster. She looked at him and whispered softly, "Faster Nicky!!"

Nick smiled and moved faster and deeper inside of her. Suddenly she didn't care if his parents heard them or not. She screamed out his name, "Ohhhhhhhhh Nicky!!"

He smiled as he watched her face as she came. When she tightened around him, it felt so good that it caused him to sum. It had never felt quite so good before. As he came, he collapsed on top of her and gave her little kisses on her neck. Laying side by side, they held each other and fell into a deep sleep...


	15. Chapter 15

Catherine and Nick woke up early the next morning. They looked and each other and smiled as Catherine whispered, "I can't believe this day is finally here!!"

Nick smiled and said, "Who would've thought that we would have made it this far?"

"I did. It took us a long time, but we finally made it. I love you so much Nick. I'm glad we are finally making it official in front of our family and friends."

He smiled and kissed her at the same time as a knock sounded at the door. Nick and Catherine gave it a quick look. Neither was dressed so Catherine called out, "Just a minute!"

Nick's mom stood on the other side of the door listening to Catherine and Nick searching for their clothes. She had a huge smile on her face when Catherine opened the door. She laughed and asked, "I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

Catherine's cheeks flushed a bright red as she said, "Um no. We actually just um woke up!!"

Her eyes lit up and she said, "I understand. I was a newly married woman at one time myself. I remember when Nick's dather and I made love..."

Wanting to change the subject, Catherine laughed nervously and said, "Will you help me get dressed!?"

Nick's mom took the hint and said, "Hint taken!! Meet me in the kitchen for breakfast?"

Catherine nodded and saw Nick coming towards the door. He was missing his shirt and she laughed when his mom said, "Nicholas, please tell me your going to get dressed before you come to breakfast?"

Nick flashed a winning smile and said, "Yes mom!"

Nick pulled a shirt off the rack and followed Catherine and his mom into the kitchen.

Soon it was time for them to get ready for the wedding. Catherine and Nick's and her mom both helped her get dressed.

Nick was standing at the end of the backyard. Waiting for Catherine he smiled when he saw his dad walking her down the aisle. She'd asked him at breakfast and it was the first time he'd ever seen his dad at a loss for words. He nodded and told Catherine that he would be honored.

So, he watched her walking down the aisle as the song I Do, Cherish You by Mark Wills is playing in the background.

bAll I am, all I'll be

Everything in this world, all that I'll ever need

Is in your eyes, shining at me

When you smile I can feel all my passion unfolding

Your hand brushes mine

And a thousand sensations seduce me 'cause I

I do, cherish you

For the rest of my life

You don't have to think twice

I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul

It's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much, I do

In my world before you

I lived outside my emotions

Didn't know where I was going

Until that day I found you

How you opened my life to a new paradise

In a world torn by change

Still with all of my heart, until my dying day

I do, cherish you

For the rest of my life

You don't have to think twice

I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul

It's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much, yes I do

I've waited so long to say this to you

So, if you're asking if I love you this much, I do

Oh, I do/b

Soon, they were reciting their vows in front of their familes and friends. Nothing in the world had ever felt so right to them. As they kissed in front of their loved ones, Nick knew that he'd found the place that he wanted to be for the rest of his life. Forever and always.

Time seemed to fly by after their wedding. Soon they were celebrating their 3rd wedding anniversary. Their lives were filled with such happiness. They loved each other greatly. Not a day went by that they weren't thankful that they'd married each other. Sure, there were challenges that they'd had to face, but they always managed to face them together.

There was one thing that was missing from their lives. Even though they'd never used any form of birth control, they still hadn't been able to have another baby. Catherine cried over it more than once. Although never when Nick was around. She knew that it made him sad whenever she cried.

She'd wanted another baby for so long now, but she had come to realize that it just wasn't meant to be. She was thrilled to be married to Nick and came to love him more and more with each passing day.

Lindsay was getting ready to go away to college. Catherine and Nick scheduled to drive her to UCLA this weekend. She had turned into a beautiful young lady. She looked more and more like her mom everyday.

On the way back, Catherine and Nick decided to stop at a hotel. However, every hotel they stopped at was booked solid. Finally Nick and Catherine were so tired that they couldn't see straight. So, they pulled into a rest stop and lowered the seats in the back.

Catherine woke up in the middle of the night. She smiled as she undressed in the darkness. She snuggled up against him in the back of the SUV. He awoke to her unzipping his jeans. He smiled as he said, "Aren't you afraid of getting caught Cath?"

Instead of answering she simply removed his jeans. It was easy after that to remove his boxers. She smiled as she looked up at him. He was watching her with curious eyes. Of all the places they had made love before. They'd never made love in a car before. To say he was excited would've been an understatement. When she took him in her mouth, he moaned loudly. It was then that she knew she'd get her way with him here tonight. He never could say no to her advances.

He looked at her and said, "I love when you do that Cath!"

She simply smiled as she ran her tongue up and down the length of his cock. She knew that he would want to make love to her soon. Sure enough, after a few more minutes of her pleasuring him, he pushed her away, rolled her over and spread her legs open wide.

She had such a look of love in her eyes that it almost hurt him to look at her. He knew that he would give his life for her if necessary. That was how much he loved her. When he made love to her nothing else mattered. It was just the two of them, lost in each others arms and bodies.

He entered her quickly. She moaned loudly. She loved the feeling of him inside her. Before they had become involved she'd wondered if he'd be a good lover. From the first time they made love she hadn't been disappointed. He made her scream out in pleasure everytime they made love. She knew that he was her destiny. They were meant to be together.

They came at the same time. That always happened. They were so in tune with each others bodies that they knew exactlyhow to please each other and were able to come at the same time. Anyone walking by the truck would definitely have known what they were doing. Truthfully, neither one cared about anything except pleasing the other. Once they were done making love, Nick fell on top of her and kissed her deeply. She moaned loudly, loving the feel of him buried deep inside her. Nothing could ever make her feel so beautiful as when he made love to her.

Finally she asked, "Why Nick?"

Nick knew what she meant. She would ask the same question more than once. He always gave her the same answer, "I love you sweetheart. Your the love of my life."

She pulled him close and kissed him deeply. Tears forming in her eyes. She didn't think she could be any happier than she was at this moment...


	16. Chapter 16

Catherine sat in the parking lot of her doctors office. She'd been sitting there for about 30 minutes. She couldn't believe what her doctor had just told her. Stunned, she started the car and drove home on auto pilot. Once there, she climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep. Her doctor had just told her that she was pregnant again. In fact, she was nearly four months pregnant. She'd never been regular with her periods lately, so she'd went in for a checkup and that's when the doctor told her the news.

She was curled up in the bed sleeping when Nick came home from work. He'd been concerned when he couldn't reach her on her cell phone or on their home line. He rushed home from work and was surprised to see her curled up in bed. He climbed onto the bed, rubbed her back and asked, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. It was apparent that she didn't want to, or couldn't talk about it. So, he layed down beside her and rubbed her back. Soon, he felt her snuggle up against him. They lay together in bed for the longest time.

She finally turned around and looked at him. She smiled sweetly and said, "I love you Nick."

He smiled as he told her, "Love you too. Is everything okay?"

She nodded and then shook her head. She dissolved into tears once again. Finally after a few moments she was able to tell him, "I'm pregnant..."

Nick sat there stunned for a few minutes. Finally he asked, "Are you upset?"

She shook her head and told him, "I'm not upset Nick. Just extremely worried. What happens if..."

He knew what she was thinking and cut her off by saying, "What did the doctor say honey?"

"He said that there's no reason why I can't carry this baby to term. I'm already past the time when I lost our other baby."

He smiled as he touched her stomach. He knew that this time was going to be different. If he'd been asked how he knew, he wouldn't have been able to answer. He just knew. Everything inside him told him that this baby was going to be okay. He looked at her and said, "I have a feeling this baby is going to be just fine sweetie."

He kissed her softly and she smiled and said, "I hope your right Nick."

Nick smiled and asked her, "When is the baby due?"

She smiled and told him, "Valentine's day."

He smiled and kissed her softly. The kisses turned extremely heated. Finally the clothes that kept them from touching skin on skin was removed. Nick turned Catherine over and looked at her body and said, "God Cath! Your so beautiful."

She felt the tears coming to her eyes. Then she felt his fingers drifting over her nipples. They were extremely sensitive right now and she moaned loudly. It was almost painful the way that he slowly stroked her nipples in a smooth circle. Finally he leaned over and captured her right nipple in his mouth and sucked it slowly. He let his tongue move in a circle and listened to her moan loudly. Knowing that it was driving her crazy, he smiled as he captured her other nipple in his hand. Using his thumb, he flicked her nipple softly. She felt the orgasm coming suddenly. It was the most intense one she'd ever experienced with him. God, how she loved this man. He never ceased to amaze her. She realized at that moment just how lucky she was to have a man like Nick to love.

Nick followed Catherine up the steps of the doctor's office. She'd been going every month. Just as a precaution. She smiled as she turn around to look at him. She smiled when he said, "Could you slow down just a little bit?"

"Having trouble keeping up?"

"You think? Where's the fire anyway? We're about thirty minutes early as it is."

"I can't help it Nick. Today's the day that we're going to be able to see the baby for the first time!!"

Nick stopped at that sentance. Up until this point the baby seemed like a abstract concept. It was at that moment that Nick realized that this was really happening to him. He smiled as he grabbed her and pulled her close for a kiss. He would've never thought she could get any more beautiful, but the glow of pregnancy made her even more beautiful. Sometimes, on days like today, she took his breath away and it almost hurt to look at her.

She gave him a quick kiss and said, "Come on!! We don't want to be late!"

Nick laughed and followed her inside the doctor's office. He felt vaguely uncomfortable walking into the office. Sitting down were women in various stages of pregnancy. He wouldn't have felt quite so bad, except that all the women were staring at him.

He found two seats together and sat down in one of them. He pretended to count the dots on the wall. Catherine smiled as she came to sit down next to him. He returned the smile as she laid her head on his shoulder. Soon, Catherine's name was called. Nick sat for a minute until she said, "Come on Nicky."

He smiled and followed her behind that door. Not knowing quite what to expect he was led down the hallway and watched as Catherine stepped on a scale. She cringed at the weight and then they were shown to the waiting room. He held her hand as they waited and looking at her. Because on every wall of the waiting room were pictures of women in various stages of pregnancy. If he hadn't looked so uncomfortable, Catherine would've laughed.

Instead she smiled and brought his hand to her mouth for a kiss. She looked at him and whispered softly, "I love you."

He smiled a nervous smile and said, "I love you too."

It was at that point that the doctor came into the exam room. He smiled as he said, "Hello Catherine. Mr. Stokes. How have you been feeling?"

Catherine smiled and answered truthfully, "Tired, but good."

The doctor smiled and started the exam. She was now five months pregnant and the doctor wanted to do a sonogram to make sure the baby was developing normally.

Catherine laid down on the exam table. The doctor pulled back the gown to reveal Catherine's gently swollen stomach. Nick felt the pressure increase on his hands. Catherine gasped when he put the sonogram jelly on her stomach. Nick asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and said, "It's just cold."

Nick smiled as he watched the doctor. He was transfixed by the process. Then the doctor turned on the machine. The doctor took measurements of the baby. Suddenly he got a look on his face. It didn't go unseen by either of the people in the room.

After a few more measurements he smiled, turned the monitor around so that Catherine and Nick could see what he was seeing and said, "Say hello to your babies mom and dad."

For a brief moment Cathering and Nick were speechless. Catherine was the first to recover and said, "Twins? Did you say twins?"

The doctor nodded and told her, "It's not that uncommon with women in their 40's. I could tell you the sex if you'd like?"

Catherine and Nick responded at the same time.

"No!" Was Catherine's response.

"Yes!" Was the answer Nick gave.

The doctor smiled, wrote something on a note pad, folded it and handed it to Nick and said, "Here. If she changes her mind later."

She looked at Nick and the doctor and said, "I won't."

The doctor laughed and finished up the exam. Catherine and Nick were walking out of the doctor's office. Catherine was strangely silent and Nick finally asked, "What's wrong?"

"I can't believe you took the paper that tells if the baby is a boy or a girl. I thought we agreed to be surprised."

Nick sighed and told her, "I'm sorry. I just carried away." He took the paper out of his pocket and put it in the glove box. Then he looked at her and said, "I promise I won't look at it."

Catherine knew it was killing him to look at it, but she wanted the babies sexes to be a surprise. She smiled and closed her eyes as Nick drove home...


	17. Chapter 17

When they pulled into the driveway the first thing Catherine did was pull the piece of paper out of the car. Nick looked at her and asked, "You don't trust me?"

She shook her head and replied, "Nope. I know how you are. Can't stand the suspense."

She laughed and she gave him and kiss and walked into the house. He watched her walk into the house laughing. She put the paper in a safe place and went to make lunch.

Meanwhile, Nick was out in the garage working on a surprise for Catherine. She hadn't been allowed out there since she found out she was pregnant. Nick was working on a crib for the baby. It was almost done, but now he realized that they would be needing another one. So he would definitely be busy for the next few weeks.

The months passed quickly and soon it was nearing the time for the arrival of the babies. Catherine was on maternity leave and Nick was still working the graveyard shift. She wa happily awaiting the births of the babies when the call came that would rock her world.

She was watching a late night tv show. Some inane comedy that she would soon forget, when there was a knock at the door. She managed to lift herself up off the couch and looked thru the peephole. She was surprised to see Grissom and Warrick standing on the other side. She opened the door quickly and asked, "What's wrong?"

Grissom knew better than to sugarcoat things. So, he simply said, "It's Nick."

Catherine felt the blood drain out of her face. She looked at them, sure that she's heard him wrong and asked, "What?"

Warrick took over and said, "We were working a case and the suspect freaked out. He pulled out a gun and started shooting. Nick happened to in the room at the time and was shot in the chest."

She felt the room spinning and Grissom caught her in time to keep her from falling. She looked at him and said, "Take me to him."

Knowing better than to argue with her, he started walking her out of the house. Suddenly gaining her senses, she told Grissom, "Wait. I need to get something."

She ran up to their bedroom and grabbed the paper out of her jewerly box, looked at it and held it tight in her hand. She knew what she had to do and just hoped it would be enough. Their babies needed their father and whatever she had to do she would...


	18. Chapter 18

Catherine remembered nothing of the trip to the hospital. She had two thoughts on her mind. Neither were very pleasant. She also had a vague memory of Grissom and Warrick talking to her. She didn't respond to either of their attempts to ease her fears. She wished that she could magically transport herself to the hospital.

Finally Warrick pulls up in front of the hospital. Catherine is out of the vehicle in a flash. She gets into the hospital and looks for the nurse that's on duty tonight. She asks her, "My husband was brought in here tonight. He was shot."

The nurse looks at her with sympathy in her eyes. She says, "I think it would be best if you sit down."

Catherine gets angry at the nurses words. She knows that she's getting hysterical, but the need to see her husband is overwelming. She looks at the nurse and says, "I want to see my husband. Now!!"

The nurse nods and tells her, "Let me get the doctor."

She hurries off the find the attending doctor. Grissom and Warrick lead her over to a chair. Which does nothing for her comfort, she keeps her eyes trained on the ER doors. The second she sees a doctor coming towards her, she jumps up and walks over to him.

He looks at her with sympathy in his eyes. Catherine can feel the grief overtaking her, but keeps it at bay long enough to ask, "How long?"

"Hours, minutes, seconds. We really don't know."

"Can I see him please doctor?"

The doctor nods and takes Catherine to Nick's bedside. It takes every ounce of control she has to maintain control and not break down crying. She takes a deep breath and walks forward to get closer to him. The doctor leaves them alone and Catherine finally looses control. The tears flow down her eyes freely. She has no idea what she's doing to do without him in her life. He's been a part of her life for so long that he's like a second skin to her.

Wiping her tears away she looks at him and says, "Hey Nicky. What are you trying to do? Be in here when I have the babies."

There is still no response from him. The only sound is the swooshing of the machines in the room. Catherine continues, "I know that I didn't want you to peek at the note the doctor gave us. I brought it with me Nicky. I'm hoping this gives you a reason to get better."

Catherine looks down at the crumpled paper in her hands. With trembling fingers she opens the note and reads it. The tears start fresh again when she sees what's written on the paper. She holds Nicky's hand and whispers, "One boy and one girl. We need you Nicky! Come back to us!"

Catherine's sobbing can be heard as the screen goes dark.

Suddenly, there is a loud beeping from the machines. Then the hospital staff starts rushing into his room. Catherine stands aside and watches the scene unfold before her.

After working for what seemed like forever, the doctors pronounced him dead. Catherine simply stared at them and screamed, "No!! He can't be gone!!"

Grissom and Warrick came into the room then. They each took her by the arm and led her out. At this point she was numb. She felt nothing and didn't even remember how she ended up in the hospital bed.

The one thing she did remember was the tears. She cried for hours on end. Just when she thought the tears were done, they would start over again. The worst part was that she swore Nick was standing right beside her. She could smell his aftershave. She swore she felt him kissing her skin. It was then that she was convinced that she was going crazy.

She told Grissom this and he actually accused her of imagining it. Then he said it had to be ghosts.

She closed her eyes and just wanted this night to be over...

I Believe-Diamond Rio

Every now and then

Soft as breath upon my skin

I feel you come back again

And it's like you haven't been

Gone a moment from my side

Like the tears were never cried

Like the hands of time are holding you and me

And with all my heart I'm sure

We're closer than we ever were

I don't have to hear or see

I've got all the proof I need

There are more than angels watching over me

I believe, oh, I believe

That when you die your life goes on

It doesn't end here when you're gone

Every soul is filled with light

It never ends and if I'm right

Our love can even reach across eternity

I believe, oh, I believe

Forever, you're a part of me

Forever, in the heart of me

I'll hold you even longer if I can

Oh, the people who don't see the most

Say that I believe in ghosts

And if that makes me crazy, then I am

Cause I believe, oh, I believe

There are more than angels watching over me

I believe, oh, I believe

Every now and then

Soft as breath upon my skin

I feel you come back again

And I believe

It was at that point that Catherine woke up. She was in their bedroom sleeping. She couldn't remember walking there. She got out of bed and nearly fainted when she saw Nick sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal. She looked at him and asked, "Did you carry me into the bedroom?"

He nodded and said, "You looked uncomfortable sleeping on the couch. You didn't even wake up when I was carrying you."

She ran over to him and threw her arms around him and said, "I'm so glad to see you!!"

He looked perplexed for a few moments and watched as Catherine walked away suddenly. She came back with a piece of paper in her hands. She took a deep breath and said, "Here. I want you to read this."

He looked at her and asked, "Are you sure?"

She nodded and said, "I don't want to take a chance of something happening and you not knowing..."

He gave her a curious look and finally opened the paper. He smiled as he read, "One boy and one girl."

He stood up and kissed her deeply just as the first labor pain hit her...


	19. Chapter 19

Nick looked at Catherine and asked, "Is everything okay?"

She shook her head and told him, "I think it's time Nick."

He nodded his head and went to get the suitcase. Smiling he held out her hand and led her to the car. She had to stop once when a contraction pain hit her. She took a deep breath and nodded at him. He smiled at her and said, "Are you ready to welcome the babies into the world?"

She gave him a frightened look and said, "I'm not sure I can do this Nick. I'm not 25 again."

He looked at her and said, "You can do this Cath. Your stronger that most of the women I know."

She looked at him and said, "I'm glad you think so Nick."

He was driving wildly. However, he remembered a call he promised to make. He pulled out his cell phone and called three people. Lindsey and his mom and dad. Lindsey was in the middle of class, so he left a message. His mom answered the phone and promised they would be on the first flight they could get.

Nick arrived at the hospital and rushed her inside. He looked over at her and whispered, "Let's do this Cath."

She nodded and opened the door, but he was on her side before she could get out. He lifted her out and carried her into the hospital. Soon they were being whisked into the labor and delivery room.

Eighteen hours later at 5:08 p.m. they welcomed their brand new daughter and son into the world. She looked over at Nick and said, "I love you."

"I love you too. Thank you Cath!"

She smiled and they kissed. Nick wanted to go get something to eat while Catherine was resting and getting checked over by the doctor. So he walked into the sun and smiled. The world felt right today and he smiled as he saw his mom and dad coming near him. He invited them to come and eat with him...

bI Saw God Today-George Strait

Just walked down the street to the coffee shop

Had to take a break

I'd been by her side for 18 hours straight

Saw a flower growin' in the middle of the sidewalk

Pushin' up through the concrete

Like it was planted right there for me to see

The flashin' lights

The honkin' horns

All seemed to fade away

In the shadow of that hospital at 5:08

I saw God today

I've been to church

I've read the book

I know he's here

But I don't look

Near as often as I should

Yeah, I know I should

His fingerprints are everywhere

I just slowed down to stop and stare

Opened my eyes and man I swear

I saw God today

Saw a couple walkin' by they were holdin' hands

Man she had that glow

Yeah I couldn't help but notice she was startin' to show it

Stood there for a minute takin' the sky

Lost in that sunset

Splash of amber melted in the shades of red

I've been to church

I've read the book

I know he's here

But I don't look

Near as often as I should

Yeah, I know I should

His fingerprints are everywhere

I just slowed down to stop and stare

Opened my eyes and man I swear

I saw God today

Got my face pressed up against the nursery glass

She's sleepin' like a rock

My name on her wrist

Wearin' tiny pink socks

She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes

My brand new baby girl

She's a miracle

I saw God today/b

Nick was watching the nurse hold his little girl up for his parents to see. He waved at her, even though he knew she had no idea who he was. He vowed then and there that he was going to be the best daddy ever for his children...


	20. Chapter 20

Fast forward approximately 23 years

Catherine Stokes sat in the front of the church. The years had been good to her. She still had most of her reddish blonde hair. She had a few wrinkles around her eyes, but she loved to think of them as laugh lines. Truthfully, they never bothered her much. She'd known that Nick loved them. He never got tired of telling her how special they were to him. To him, each line told a story of their lives together. To him each one had been special.

She smiled as she thought about their children. Adam and Amanda were 23 years old now. Not a day went by that Catherine and Nick didn't realize how special they were.

Adam had graduated from the police academy three years ago. He was working his way up the ladder. Brass said that he was one of the best beat cops that he'd seen in a long, long time.

Amanda was in college studying to be a lawyer. She wanted to go into practice to defend and uphold the rights of children. Nick and Catherine had been extremely proud the day that she'd told them about the decision.

Which brought them to where they were today. Catherine took a deep breath and the organ music began to play. Everyone in the church stood up as they approched the front of the church. Catherine wiped a tear from her eye.

Adam and Amanda each approached the front. Amanda looked as beautiful as her mom. She definitely took after Catherine in her looks and attitude about life. She always fought for the underdog and she knew the difference.

Adam could nearly double for Nick's twun. She smiled as she watched them approaching. Amanda in her wedding dress and Adam in his tuxedo. Watching them standing in front of the gathered crowd was almost heartbreaking for Catherine. Her babies were all grown up.

Then her eyes spotted Nick. Devastatingly handsome, the years had been good to him. He still had the body of someone half his age and the looks too. She smiled as she remembered how long it had taken then to get to this place. He looked stunning as he walked Amanda down the aisle.

They'd decided to have a double wedding. The twins had been very close growing up and wouldn't have done it any other way.

She smiled as Nick took his place beside the children and listened as the preacher asked, "Who gives these children's hand in marriage?"

Nick smiled proudly and said, "Their mother and I."

Nick's voice cracked and he turned and wiped a tear away and walked to stand beside Catherine.

Catherine grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. She looked up at him and whispered, "I love you Nick. Always and Forever."

Nick smiled back at her and repeated, "Always and forever."

They smiled as the sat to listen to the preacher marry their children...

The End...

So, tell me. What did you think? Love it? Hate it? Want more like it? Let me know!!


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